Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Married women...

I seem to have an extra gene in my body. It's slotted neatly between the gene that makes me smell good and the gene that makes women not want to commit to me. The direct effect of this gene is that it acts as a pheremone for married women.

There have been case studies on it. The science is solid. If it's on the internet it must be true.

I'll pause so you can all judge me.

PAUSING...

/END PAUSE

One married women was cool. We hooked up through mutual friends. She made me breakfast a few days during the week. Her hubby would leave for work and I would drive up. It was fun. It lasted two months. Then she got all moral on me. What the hell is that? I still run in to her from time to time. She still looks hot. But those damn morals kill me. What happened to the 70's? Please bring it back.

Another woman and I met while eating lunch. She sat at table next to me and we just starting talking. We made this warp jump from lunch to shady trysts in her car. We never had sex, mainly because I'm not 18 and sex in a car is only fun with hookers and cheerleaders. I don't like hookers and cheerleaders bug me. It's something about that perma smile they always have even when their team is down by a million points.

That one ended when we started to go on a S&M route. Whoa. Pump the brakes. Nothing about wearing a mask and a ball gag appeal to me. So that ended quickly.

Is there really a good way to end a post like this?

4 comments:

The Cat's Pajama said...

nope - no good way to end that one! I find it is true some guys attract married women, and some married women are just whores.

acousticblinding said...

Married Whores > Regular Whores

Lady Karinsky said...

i'm actually curious as to why the cheerleader seems to garner more ire than the hooker... now i'm no fan of cheerleaders (get a real hobby!) but it seems to me that a hooker would be more, um... diseasy.

acousticblinding said...

It's not that either garner more ire than the other, hookers are more self explanatory when it comes to ire. Cheereleaders are more universally loved so I thought I would point out my 'un' love for them.