Nice to see ya

Where the hell have I been? I've been pretty busy. I normally do my blogging from work and work's kept me pretty busy lately. I try to stay as far away from a computer as possible when I'm at home because I spend all day at work on one.

Things with The GF have been a roller coaster. We have our ups and downs. One up was mind blowing sex. That could probably be an up and down..get it? We still can't get along on regular basis though.

I've been talking with The Other Girl a little bit via messenger and she's taken the plunge. She left her husband. No it doesn't mean she and I are going to hook up again. I admire her in one sense, she had the guts to leave him, but on the other hand it's a scary prospect. I'll cross that bridge soon enough I think. I just have to continue to work through the process until my time comes.

Did I mention that we had mind blowing sex?

I'll have more I'm sure but I figured that I'd throw some up real quick.

Where are all the hot women?

The new girl

I'm working on a new project, as if I need more work. I swear my company doesn't realize how much the projects they give are impacting my ability to blog. I'll have to talk to my boss about that.

This new project has this wonderful project manager. She looks like an under-educated, naughty secretary. She's pretty nice too.

I really have no interest in her but she's nice to look at. She always wears the best outfits too. She'll definitely make the meetings a lot more tolerable.

She wore these shoes one day. At first I wasn't a big fan but they grew on me after I got a chance to evaluate her outfit. Nice.

Why?

I'm trying to figure out why I do this. Why do I keep trying to hang in there with her? I know why, I keep thinking I can make it work. I don't want to lose what I think may be the best thing to ever happen to me.

As the days go on a little more of me slipping away to never come back.

We managed to take what was a seriously awesome weekend and shit all over it in the end.

I planned this really cool day for her birthday. I made dinner reservations at this restaraunt she'd been wanting to eat at. I reserved studio time with a local purse designer so she could create a custom purse. She chose the design, the materials, and every little detail down to the stitching.

Did she appreciate it? In some small way but she still managed to pick it apart in the end. My cool idea didn't turn out to be as cool I thought it was.

I give up.

I feel weird today. I'm not sure what it is. I just don't feel like myself.

I did hit the gym last night though. Shit was I wrong about there being no hot girls where I live. Hot girls do live here, they just hide until a certain hour and then they all go to the gym at the same time. I got lucky last night and picked the right hour. Unfortunately I didn't talk to any of them. That's not my 'gym style.' I hate when people talk to me at the gym so I don't talk to anyone in return. I'm there to workout. That's it. But looking at good looking women is extra motivation.

Even though I have a shitload of projects, I've been slacking like mad at work. I just can't get in to work lately. I've been surfing so much at work. It's sad. I've actually been to the end of the internet and now I've run out of things to read, watch, listen to.

I was looking through some old pictures and I found this one of how I used to look. Man I had nice shoulders. More motivation.

I just feel weird.

So bored

...I'm half tempted to post my number at work online to see who calls me.

Enough

I'm having a hard time focusing today. I had a long weekend of nothingness. I didn't do shit but sit and stew about, well, shit. Most of it was focused on The Girlfriend.

Here's what's really going on....

We live together. We still live together. We haven't truly broken up. It sounds so easy to just leave but it's not that easy. The thing that makes it hardest to leave is finances. At one point I was sure I was going to marry this girl. Based on that we made some decisions that impact both of us. Namely we put things in BOTH our names. We invested in real estate thinking that it would give us a little nest egg for when we get old and retire. It sounded so good, buy some property, let someone else pay it off by renting it from us and make some money. Little did we know the bottom of the real estate market would drop like a stripper for a dollar bill.

Selling the property is not an option. We would lose all the money we've invested in it so far. We're sort of stuck until the market gets better or until we get a good deal. We pulled it off the market until then.

We both own one SUV and three motorcycles. I have a kickass Harley and crotch rocket. She has a Harley. Those we could get rid of fairly easily but we would take a loss on them too.

The third financial piece is that I dropped $6000 on a three week vacation to the Carribean. It's non refundable. So I'm stuck with her for three weeks in a cool bungalow. I can live with that but I can't lie and say I my eyes won't wander because I'm just not that in to her anymore.

So I spent the better part of this weekend thinking about how can I get out of it. We did have sex but I wasn't in to that either. It sucked for me.

In the meantime I'm passing up all these opportunities to get to know other women because who the hell is going to understand that I'm in a relationship. I could do the girl on the side thing but that always ends up with the girl getting to attached and that's messy. I'll pass.

So I made up an escape plan. I felt like JLO in that one movie, Enough.

In the meanwhile I'll focus on the gym. It always does me really well when my mind isn't focused. Endorphins have a way of focusing me.

Thoughts running through my head at any given moment

• How does Midget Arms' wife put up with him?
• I miss her.
  
• Will Hayden Panitierre be fat when she gets older?
• How cool would it be if I really lived like one of the guys off of Flight of the Choncords?
• I should just stay single forever.
  
• What can I get away with today?
• It won't be that bad if I only did it once will it?
• I really need a super power.
  
• I've got to get out.
• Is she trying to get in my pants?
  
• There's got to be a better way to do that.
  
• Love is way overrated.
• Is that a man or a woman?
• I would do her.
• Only a few more months to put up with this crap.
• I need a new lunch buddy.
• Why do I gravitate towards younger chicks?
• Why are women my age so goody goody?
  
• Is my blog that boring?
• Man I love trouble.
• I can't be the only one around here who's sneaky.
• Why are there so many unhappy wives?
• Everyone is shady. I just embrace it.
  
• If I get caught I'll still get away with it.
• Get a friggin' real ringtone.
  
• Pace yourself.
• Nice nipples!
• There's gotta be one good thing about her.
• She's so ready to leave her boyfriend if not cheat.
• Keep it legal.
• Do these people really think I want to be friends with them?
• I'm only doing this so you owe me a favor.
• What ever happened to The Conductor?
• Am I the only freak at work?